Wednesday, June 29, 2022

These Foreplay Tips Will Put Any Woman in the Mood for Sex

Foreplay is your negotiation tool for sex

“I’m just not in the mood today.”

Babe, does this sentence sound a little too familiar? Well, you won’t be hearing it anymore, because I’m about to share 3 steps to foreplay that will put any woman in the mood for sex.

For women, foreplay is the warm-up before sex, and it is absolutely necessary. Would you jump into a workout without warming up? Probably not, because you’d be risking injury. It’s the same with foreplay. A woman needs at least a bit of proper foreplay to avoid damaging her vagina. So, give her what she needs, and she’ll reciprocate by giving you what you want.

Now, if you think that foreplay is 5 minutes of finger play and kissing before moving onto intercourse, you’re wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. Foreplay is about building passion, setting the mood, and awakening your woman’s body to sex. If you want to be a better lover, foreplay is a must.

It takes about 20 to 30 minutes for women to open up and become aroused.

This is why foreplay is so important. It gives our bodies the time needed to warm up and to produce enough lubrication for pleasurable intercourse. It also helps us feel closer, respected, and desired — women are emotional beings, and sex starts in our head.

In this article, I’ll share with you 3 fundamental foreplay tips to put your woman in the mood for sex with you. Make sure to read Step #3 — it includes a tip I learned from Japanese women that works better than you’d believe.


Step #1: Mental Foreplay

Women like erotica, men like porn (okay, some women enjoy porn too, but the opposite is rare). Why? Because women get aroused through the brain while men get aroused through the eyes.

This is why foreplay for her starts with the brain.

But, how do you stimulate her brain?

Build anticipation

Foreplay should start not in the bedroom, but way before. You want to build up anticipation and arouse your partner through your actions hours before it’s time to do the deed.

During the day, leave sexy and flirty voice messages, emails, or texts. Or, simply call and tell her you’ve been thinking about her.

Your gaze and body language in her presence can signify a lot of things as well. Look at her with desire and lust or give her discrete signals at home. Bite your lips when you look at her. She will feel irresistible.

Another way to build anticipation is to suggest watching a romantic movie or an erotic film in the evening. For example, you can turn up the heat by watching spicy flicks like Fifty Shades of Grey, Ghost, Basic Instincts, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, Blue is the Warmest Color, Killing Me Softly, etc.

Keep her engaged

Another way to arouse her brain is to communicate what you want to do to her. Tease her a little.

If you’re short on ideas, the best way to find inspiration is through erotica. There are plenty of good stories on Medium, usually written by women for women. My suggestion is to pick a story, select a paragraph you enjoy, then use it as your sexy source material for turning on your partner.

Let’s look at an example. Here is the last sentence of written by Meaghan Ward:

“Hold me, touch me, finger me, I don’t care, I’ll want your hands on me now, I’ll want your fingers in my pussy while I reach for your cock again, ready for more.”

Now reverse the roles, and add I want to… :

“I want to ‘hold you, touch you, finger you, I don’t care. I’ll want my hands on you now, I’ll want my fingers in your pussy while you reach for my cock, ready for more.’”

Let her imagination run rampant, envisioning what it will feel like when you do all those things to her. Remember, a woman’s path to orgasm is between her ears.

Last but not least, you can ask her questions that’ll get her imagination working and keep her engaged. Here are some examples:

  • What do you want me to do to you right now?
  • Do you want me to go inside here?
  • Do you want me to lick between your thighs?

Step #2: Physical Foreplay

A woman has many erogenous zones that are good to stimulate during foreplay.

In this article, I will give you guidance for six zones: (1) her lips, (2) her clitoris, (3) her breasts, (4) her ears, (5) the nape of her neck, (6) her inner thighs.

Aim to stimulate at least 3 of these 6 erogenous zones. You can refer to the links to learn about specific techniques for each one.

Her lips

Manipulate her lips just right through kissing, licking, sucking, and biting, and she’ll be wanting more in no time.

  • In , I share all you need to know about the art of kissing.

Her clitoris

Her clitoris can be stimulated by using your tongue, finger, or both simultaneously.

  • Learn how to stimulate her clitoris with your fingers in my article.
  • I’ve previously given tips on stimulating her clitoris with your tongue in.
  • If you want to stimulate her clitoris with a pussy massage.

Her breasts

We, women, know that men love boobs. This is why you see us showing off a little bit of them, just to set you up. Yes, we are naughty. Breast play is very erotic and pleasurable during foreplay.

  • For detailed techniques on playing with her breasts.

Her ears

You want to lick, suck, and kiss your woman’s ears — but do beware if she has earrings.

Women like it too when you whisper in their ears. Whispering has the power to stimulate tingling sensations inside our head that run down our back and limbs, causing a brain-gasm. This is why ASMR — Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response — is so popular among women.

If you don’t know what to say when you whisper, here is my secret technique: just shush softly in her ears and you’re almost guaranteed a brain-gasm. At the very least, it will give her a mellow feeling, helping her to relax and open up to sex.

The nape of her neck

The nape is the bottom hairline at the back of her head where the skull meets the neck.

Use your hands to gently lift her hair up and bring your mouth close to her neck. Then breathe slowly and sensually to give her goosebumps all over. Finally, pull her hair slightly to give her that impression of “I want you so bad”.

You can also give the nape of her neck a sensual massage; she won’t be able to resist.

Her inner thighs

The inner thighs have many nerve endings and are highly sensitive to touching, stroking, and licking. Rub them and you’ll turn your woman on like crazy.

Now, remember not to bite. This area is sensitive, and it would only cause pain and distract her from her pleasure.


Step #3: Situational Foreplay

Last but not least, foreplay is also situational.

“What the hell is that?”, you must be thinking. It’s all about setting up the space and stimulating your woman’s 5 senses. Many men neglect situational foreplay or don’t feel comfortable with it, but this will for sure help put any woman in the mood for sex.

Set up the stage

Setting up the stage for sex is both a foreplay technique and a way to enhance libido.

The stage is about the bedding, the tidiness of the place you’re having sex in, the smell of the room, etc. Now, if you’re not the one who’s in charge of the bedding and whatnot, there’s an easy way around it — gift your woman a set of bedsheets and scented candles for the bedroom.

When you pick the bedsheets, choose mauve sheets made of silk or satin. When studying Feng Shui in Japan, I discovered that the color mauve naturally increases libido. I gave it a try, and I must admit that it works.

For the candles, you can choose vanilla, musk, or sandalwood. If you have a Bluetooth speaker, get it ready in the bedroom. Set the scene of the room in advance to get the most out of situational foreplay.

Background music

Can you imagine a great movie without an emotionally evocative soundtrack?

Music sets the mood by sending chills up our spine and exciting our senses. Prepare a playlist of music to have sex to. I recommend that you start with soft songs and slowly increase in intensity. At the end of the playlist, include soft and sensuous songs, reserved for your post-sex cuddling, kissing, and aftercare.

Aphrodisiacal Scents

Smells are powerful stimuli that can affect your mood or trigger particular memories and feelings.

According to Dr. Alan Hirch, licorice is a sexually stimulating scent for men and women. But what you really want to do is to find the smell that will arouse YOUR woman. Experiment with different essential oils and scented candles to find the perfect sexually scented aphrodisiac for your foreplay.

Hot bath

As I said in Step #1, foreplay should begin before the bedroom, so why not start the warm up in a hot bath? Prepare a bubble bath surrounded by a few candles and invite your partner in.

Sound too romantic for you to prep? Trust me — this is a small, easy surprise for your woman that will earn you a priceless reward. But, if it’s still not your cup of tea, forget the bubbles and candles, though keep the idea of a hot bath. As you both soak in the water, wash her feet and give her a foot massage.

I love it when my partner puts soap on a soft sponge and soaps my body. I think you’ll want to give it a try too.

Erotic massage

Last but not least, massage is an excellent way to engage in foreplay. It gets the body and mind in tune with what is coming next.

Have some massage oil handy and massage her neck, her shoulders, her back, her inner thighs. Move along her pelvic floor and down to her pelvis, to her legs, and on to her feet.

Then, ask her to turn onto her back and massage her from the bottom up. Start with a lighter touch and gradually move toward a firmer pressure. Adjust the pressure to your woman’s responses. You can introduce different touches, such as:

  • Feather touch: use your fingertips, your palms, and the backs of your hands on her body;
  • Light scratching: gently scratch your partner around her inner thighs, buttocks, back, and head;
  • Light biting: nibble around her ears and her neck;
  • Blowing: gently blow your warm breath around and behind her ears. Switch to very soft and light kisses around her ears.

At the beginning of a relationship, we spend more time on foreplay: everything is new and exciting, and foreplay is a time for discovery. Yet, as time passes by, foreplay disappears and gets replaced by quickies. And this is when you start to hear from your woman, “I’m not in the mood today.”

But, what she means is that you’re not doing what it takes to set the mood for sex. So, put a little effort into earning it by bringing foreplay back into your sex life. Practice these foreplay techniques and soon you’ll be hearing, “Give it to me, baby.”

Foreplay is the negotiation of sex, and now you know how to negotiate with a woman.

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