The emotional toll that comes from a divorce can twist the knife on your mind, making you doubt yourself and your decision to end your marriage. In my case, there were numerous moments when the inner chatter of self-doubt, guilt, and regret was so loud in my head that I’d descend into a dark fluster of sadness.
These feelings are pervasive in the earlier stages of a divorce. These questions linger on your mind, endlessly; “Did I do my best to nurture my marriage? Did I throw in the towel too soon? What if I wake up one day and my life is worse than it is right now?”
In the words of Stewart Stafford,
“There’s only one thing worse than never having found love, and that’s finding it and having it taken away from you — then you truly know what you’ve lost.”
You might start feeling like a failure or unworthy of finding love again. And although you may not realize it, the self- doubt that arises from going through a divorce, can seep into other aspects of your life. You start to feel incapable of making important decisions in your life because you feel unsure of yourself.
You’ll suffer from an identity crisis
So, you’re newly divorced, where do you fit now? Do you hang out with your married friends? Single friends? The truth? It can be challenging to fit into your social circles because of the structure of their lives. They may have children and wives who demand their attention. You may no longer fit into their family events.
Not to say you can’t catch up with them occasionally, it just means you’re less likely to fit in. But that’s not all. Some friends may cut you off from their lives because, unfortunately, some people care too much about appearances to see past logic.
What about the tension with your children if you had any? Not to mention your in-laws who, by the way, might already hate you. And talking about in-laws, if you do decide to enter into another marriage, stop and consider that your new in-laws might hold you with skepticism and suspicion.
“Love is a journey and a destination — long and excruciating on the way, unexpected and ecstatic if found.”
― Stewart Stafford
Don’t allow your happiness to die on the hill of a soul-crushing marriage. Your life is way too valuable to be spent waiting for love that will never come. You deserve to find someone who’s ready to take the incredible journey of life with you.
But as you open yourself up to that person, remember these truths so that you can navigate the variable winds that you’ll encounter as you reach out for your new life.