I once spent an entire evening on the phone with one of my best friends, Nadia. She needed to talk as she was struggling in her relationship. She had doubts about her girlfriend’s feelings, and our conversation ended up being an analysis of her behaviors.
A few days later, they broke up.
We’ve all gone through this at least once. Scratching our head, asking ourselves if our partner is really into us as they say or not — only to realize later that our intuition was somehow right.
Let’s be honest, when someone truly loves you, they don’t let you wonder. They don’t send mixed signals. In fact, the opposite is true. Their actions speak louder than their words, and they show their love through their actions rather than just telling you they love you.
They consistently do small things they usually wouldn’t do for other people, which, when combined, are a good indicator someone genuinely cares.
1. If You Need to Vent, They Are Always There for You
Nadia is now in a healthy, fulfilling relationship with her new girlfriend, Sandra. And she says she feels a huge difference with her previous relationship.
Anytime she needs to talk, Sandra is there to listen. She knows she has her emotional support and that she’s not a burden for her. If Sandra sees Nadia isn’t in her best mood, she asks her if she needs to go for a walk and vent. Her ex, instead, seemed to never have time for that.
Someone who doesn’t love you won’t be interested in spending time listening to your problems; they will have other priorities. Those who love you instead want to do something if they see you are struggling.
2. They Can’t Wait to See You
I can’t stress this enough,
Be with someone who can’t wait to spend time with you.
If someone loves you, they will feel the need to see you, and you will notice it. You won’t have to wait one month before seeing them — unless you are in a long-distance relationship, that’s an entirely different story.
When Nadia and Sandra started dating, they met once or twice a week, and they couldn’t wait to see each other again. Nadia never felt insecure about Sandra’s interest because she could feel she was genuinely into her.
Then, after a few months, when the relationship started to become more serious, and they became exclusive, they slowly began to see each other three or four days per week. Now, after two years, they live together. Things slowly and naturally progressed in a loving, healthy relationship.
Of course, as I explained a few weeks ago, time apart is essential to relationship health as well. You don’t want to spend your whole time with someone, no matter how much you love each other.
You must make enough time to pursue your dreams and focus on your hobbies or career. In fact, time apart is exactly what makes you long for the other person, and makes your moments together memorable.
3. They Want the Relationship to Work
If someone loves you, they want you to be happy with them. Whenever you two have a disagreement, they will focus on handling the conflict and sorting things out.
This is what Nadia noticed from the beginning of the relationship. When she had her first disagreement with Sandra, they treated it as an opportunity to get to understand each other and grow as a couple. And Sandra asked Nadia how she could be a better partner.
If someone doesn’t truly care, they will perceive relationship talks as a waste of time. Instead, someone who loves you will make communication a top priority because they want things to work.
4. They Want You to Meet Their Loved Ones
Let’s be honest, when you are in love with someone, you want the world to know you two are together. In particular, you want your loved ones to know it, and you can’t wait to introduce them to your significant other.
An example of this is when Sandra introduced Nadia to her family. She organized a dinner at her place after two months they were dating, and she couldn’t wait to do so. The same happened with her closest friends.
Someone who doesn’t care won’t feel the need to introduce you to their family or best friends. They won’t feel the need to talk to them about you. In fact, they might even avoid it.
5. They Want to Meet Your Loved Ones
Another sign someone is in love with you is they not only introduce you to their family and friends, but they are also curious to meet your loved ones. They probably won’t pressure you into it, but they will communicate their interest in knowing them.
And they will make an effort to get along with them. For example, the first time Sandra met Nadia’s parents, she cooked a meal for them. Then, she spent the entire afternoon talking with them. They had a long, pleasant conversation.
The same thing happened when Nadia met Sandra’s family, she invited them to her small lake cottage, and they had a nice barbecue. They had a lovely day together.
6. They Remember Everything About You, Even the Small Details
After a few dates, Sandra remembered the earrings Nadia was wearing the first time they met. And Nadia remembered when Sandra shared her fear of bees during their first date.
Someone who is not into you won’t even notice the small details. If someone loves you instead, they will impress you with their memory. They will remember almost every tiny detail of your first dates and how you two met.
Those who care about us tend to remember a lot of what we say and what we do.
7. They Offer to Help You
If someone doesn’t love you, they won’t feel the need to help you.
Someone who loves you instead will want to alleviate at least a bit of your stress if they can. They will show their love through their actions — especially if their primary love language is “acts of service.”
For example, when Nadia had to move to her new apartment, Sandra helped her with the move. When she had to buy a new sofa, she offered to accompany her to Ikea to choose one and then helped her organize the transportation.
8. They Talk About the Past
Another small sign someone is in love with you is they talk about the past — your past as a couple. Most likely, they will do it a lot, and with a smile on their face. Because they not only love you, but they also love the memories you have together.
Last year, for Nadia’s birthday, instead of a birthday card, Sandra created a video with at least one hundred pictures of them. I found it an original and romantic way to remember their past as a couple and collect their memories together.
Someone who doesn’t genuinely care won’t think much about the beautiful moments you spent together, because they don’t place the same value as you do on them.
9. They Talk About the Future (A Lot)
As someone who loves you talks about the past, they will also mention the future a lot — your future together. When they make plans, they always include you, because it feels natural to them to see you in their future. Not only that, but they also have thousands of ideas of things you can do together.
They will mention a movie they want to watch with you, a concert they want to go to with you, a country they want to visit with you, or even the house they want to live in with you.
For example, Sandra talks a lot about long-term plans with Nadia. She often mentions her dream house she wants to buy one day — to live there with Nadia — and the caravan she wants to buy — to travel with her.
True love looks and feels like this. You know and feel the other person is there for you and sees you as part of their life — today and tomorrow.
You won’t find yourself wondering if they are into you or not. You won’t spend hours analyzing their behavior with your friends.
You will know they genuinely care.