These help me orgasm faster and feel more comfortable.
As sex goes, I enjoyed it much more with some guys than others. A couple years later, I met my current girlfriend, and oral sex with her was even better. In my experience at least, women better understand what feels good because they have the same body parts. While guys performing oral sex on me felt good, I don’t believe I ever came, like I did with my girlfriend.
Considering all of my experiences with receiving oral sex, these six actions others perform make me feel the best emotionally and sexually.
1. Consistent, Explicit Consent
First and foremost and all the time, consent is key. When someone asks for my consent consistently and explicitly, I feel so much more comfortable and even more turned on. Knowing someone cares and is keeping my pleasure in mind means a lot to me. That extra comfort I feel helps me relax and therefore orgasm easier.
2. Hold My Hands
Hand-holding during oral sex is so underrated. I definitely love how receiving oral sex feels physically, but hand-holding helps me feel connected and loved by the other person in an additional, meaningful way. For some reason, it emphasizes the fact they want to give me oral sex and they also care about me for reasons other than sex. This may or may not have held true in actuality during my hookup-heavy phase, but it was a pleasant feeling. And now, with my current girlfriend, I know a lot of love is flowing within our hands when we hold each other’s, which makes me love our sex all the more.
3. Play With My Clit
Clitoral play is my favorite; it feels the best for me and helps me orgasm the quickest and easiest. When people go down on me, I want them to focus mostly on my clit. Sucking, licking, and light biting or nibbling are all great ways to play with it. And of course, if I show either physically or verbally that I especially enjoy a certain action, I love when my partner continues to do it more.
4. Talk About How Much You Love It
Even though I know I’m not supposed to taste like fruits and flowers “down there” and that I’m supposed to have a signature scent, I still sometimes struggle with insecurity about it. I worry people go down on me more so because I want it than because it’s their favorite thing to do; I worry they’re judging some part of my body. So, when people talk about how much they love going down on me, how good I taste, or something similar either before, during, or after oral sex, I feel more comfortable emotionally and sexually. I’m able to enjoy it more because I know they do too. I realize I don’t need to worry so much. Plus, sexy talk is sexy! I encourage others to not be afraid of it, and to embrace it instead. In fact, auditory turn-ons are especially prominent in some women.
5. Switch It Up Periodically
While I want my partner to focus mostly on my clit while going down on me, I also appreciate when they switch it up. I want them to explore me “there” with their tongue and try out different motions and speeds. Some suggest writing the alphabet with your tongue when eating a woman out, and my girlfriend and I like to joke that I especially love when she licks the letter “E” on me. So yes, in my experience, sticking to what works and switching it up occasionally, especially if I’m not close to orgasming yet, is best.
Truth be told, I’m fairly loud when I have sex, and I love when my partner is too. I’m one of those women who finds auditory turn-ons especially sexy, and I also feel less self-conscious and can enjoy the sex more when my partner is verbal like I am. Knowing my partner is having fun and enjoying what they’re doing — especially when they’re going down on me — helps me feel better too. To know someone is eating me out and loving every moment just totally does it for me.
What feels good sexually and emotionally differs from person to person, so communicating about that with your sexual partner(s) is important. Don’t be afraid to ask what they like and in turn, tell them what you like. Enthusiastic, honest consent is required, but the rest just spices up sex in a way that’s meaningful both emotionally and sexually.